Old Stuff Day

positive de-clutter
De-clutter the Brain

March saw an interesting awareness day “Old Stuff Day”. Were you aware of that day and how has your March been? “Old Stuff Day” is a day to sort, sift, organise, and de-clutter our environments. But what about the environment that lives inside of us? Are we aware that there is another environment that needs a good clear out from time to time? Our brains!

Did you know that the average human brain thinks around 70,000 thoughts a day? That is a lot of thinking! Those thoughts can be neutral, optimistic or pessimistic. It’s interesting to notice the default patterns of how we think.

You know the old classic, whether the glass is half-empty, or half full? Which way does YOUR thought pattern lean? If you lean towards the more pessimistic side, then it is likely that your brain could do with a de-clutter. Negative thoughts that hang around in our system can, like weeds, grow and begin to take over our world. If we are not careful, we could end up with the weeds overtaking the garden of our mind. This can result in a vicious cycle of negative thinking, promoting negative behaviour, which attracts negative experience. Then reinforcing the negative aspects of life, and so on and so forth.

The brain is divided – essentially into two parts, an emotionally primitive part and a logical intellectual part. The primitive part, which is the original part of the brain from primitive times, is responsible for keeping us safe, protected, and alive. It wants to check things out for safety and security.

It is the mid-brain that our primitive ancestors used mostly to survive in the threatening conditions that they lived. However, although we do not live in caves any more with sabre-tooth predators at our door, we still have this part of our brain to protect us from modern-day threats. This part of our brain is always negative, and it has to be this way to ensure our safety, so you can now see if our thoughts hang around in this part longer than necessary, this can cloud our optimism and better judgment.

We need to learn to live our lives and manage our thoughts from the intellectual part of our brain. When we master this skill, we can see the positive aspects of ourselves and our environment. We have balance, feelings of clarity and calm, and know and understand our personal strengths and internal resources that help us navigate our way through life with a solution-focused and relaxed approach.

So, how do we control how we think and make the switchover – from worst-case scenario pessimism into the positive side of optimism and solution-focused thinking?

Well, it’s simple! It’s just a recognition about which part of the brain your thoughts are being filtered through. For example, if you experience a problem, and you immediately come up with the worst-case scenario, or have a doom-and-gloom approach to it, then you are surely in the grips of the emotionally primitive mind, and you will struggle to find a resolution. However, if the same problem occurs, but you are thinking with your intellectual mind, you will have a much better perspective, gain facts, find solutions or resources and get the problem sorted out in a calm and relaxed way.

Knowing how to identify which way your thought process leans is something that Solution Focused Hypnotherapy teaches you. We, as humans need to find our own way into our intellectual minds. We simply do this by learning how to de-clutter those thoughts and relax.

Positive thinking isn’t just a soft and fluffy feel-good term. Yes, it’s great to simply “be happy”, but those moments of happiness are also crucial for de-cluttering your mind to be able to explore and build the positive skills that are valuable in all areas of your life.

Therapy

Therapy
Therapy.

There’s often a ‘buzz’ among people who hear about ‘therapy’. For most of us, seeking therapy means there’s something wrong with us or we are not in the right state of mind. Unfortunately, this is not how therapy is supposed to be.

In fact, many people who seek therapy include successful individuals, including celebrities, public officials and leaders. Therapy is not a hocus pocus, mental brainwashing or head-shrinking as what others may think. It is a scientifically proven technique that can aid in many areas of our life. Particularly those that pharmaceutical companies cannot address.

So whether you are dealing with a difficult time in your life, like a major transition. Or you simply want to be more in control of it and get better at handling stress. Or managing your personal or social relationships, therapy is going to be a big help. And here’s how.

Therapy

Improving relationships.

For most people, relationships are a main thing. We give importance to our social relationships, particularly the more personal ones like our family, friendships and marriage. But in every type of relationship, there is always a rough spot. As they say, there’s no ‘perfect relationship’. Even those who have been together for many, many years now also go through ups and downs as well. Therapists are expert relaters, and are highly skilled at treating all varieties of relational problems. Whether it’s about marriage, parenting, conflicts between siblings, work relationships or friendships – they got you covered. While medication can treat symptoms of depression which developed from unhealthy relationships, it doesn’t address the root cause. Medications can’t teach you how to be in a relationship. Therapy can.

Establishing relationships.

Just because you are single, living alone, or lack friends doesn’t mean you can no longer benefit from therapy. While social media enhances communication and connection, they don’t teach us or prepare us towards healthy relationships. There are couples who are very expressive about their feelings over the phone or through chats, but find it hard to say what they feel in person. Therapy allows for an intimacy workout that enhances connection and communication. It helps us express our emotions better, in a way that our partners (or other people) would understand.

Increasing motivation and career satisfaction.

Each year, a lot of people lose their job and can’t find another. Some do find a job but in the long run, become unhappy of it. Some do struggle with the demoralising issue of job loss and stressful pressure of job hunting. In times like this, therapy can help evaluate what exactly are the things people are concerned about in their careers. At the same time, therapy is a great venue to learn how to motivate yourself more to do better at work even if it’s not really in line with your passion, by helping you figure out what you like most of your job (like friendships, considerate bosses, etc.).

Managing emotions.

Being able to manage your emotions is one of the best skills that can help you achieve your goals and succeed in life. Furthermore, unexpressed emotions can backfire, as it makes you hold grudges, refuse help and support, and deal with your problems alone. Therapy can help you decipher emotions and deal with deeper issues. Emotional management makes it possible for you to reach properly on most types of situations, even those that are really nerve-whacking. Therapists are skilled at helping people become more in control of their emotions.

Developing self-compassion.

Most of the time, we get too concerned about other people that we almost forget to look after ourselves. Seeking therapy is a great way to enhance the quality of your life, from your relationship to your career, and everything in between. It is a safe place to explore and get to know yourself better. If you are hindered by old habits, relationship conflicts or past hurts that weigh you down, getting help from a professional counsellor is going to be a big help. Or if you are struggling with making decisions, identifying what you really want in life or any other things that bother you, it’s a great place to be.

Therapy is not just about treating something wrong about a person mentally or emotionally. More often than not, it is also about making something better. Whether you are going through a difficult time in your life right now, or you simply want to improve an area of your life, or be more connected to your inner self, therapy is really worth a try.

Goals…when you want something

Goals cornwall Bude hypnotherapy
When you want something, the whole universe conspires.

When you think about the bills you couldn’t pay, the job you could lose, the sacrifices you have to make, the frustrations in the past etc, you are focusing yourself on what you do not want, which makes it more difficult for you to achieve your goals.

Often, we are too concerned of not getting the things we want that we tend to shift our thoughts, action and attention to the things we do not want. Many times, our minds are filled with worries and negative beliefs which are too overpowering that we slowly lose track of our goals – things we really want.

Focusing on what you want

The problem is that most of us do not know what we truly want. We tend to focus on things that give us short-term happiness and enjoyment. The key is finding those that have a significant impact on the long-lasting success in our personal lives, relationships and careers. Once you are able to determine what these things are, you start to live your life on purpose. You become inspired, motivated and willing to face whatever kind of challenges and trials that may come your way. You don’t waste time, money and energy because you only care about things that matter.

And when you really want something, the entire universe conspires to make it happen. That’s the law of attraction. You eliminate the negative beliefs that divert your attention to things you don’t want. These include fear, anger, frustration, anxiety, and worry. Who wants to experience all these? Nobody. But why is it that many people feel these negative emotions?

Goals cornwall Bude hypnotherapy

 

Defining your goals

Thinking on what you do not want does not give you any clue whatsoever on the things you want. Take time to brush away the worries you have and focus your mind on the things you want to achieve in your life, whether it is a fairytale-like love life, an executive post in a prestigious company, or a comfortable life. Write them down. Draw pictures if necessary. Create visual things that will remind you of your goals. If you have many of them, group them according to your priorities. It’s unlikely that you’ll get them all at once. It takes time and perseverance.

Focusing on your needs

Who doesn’t want to have huge savings in their bank accounts, a beautiful mansion, a luxury car, and all that wealth? Just by imagining these things, we could already feel some sort of excitement and joy. But in the long run, they become meaningless. Many scientific studies have shown that it is not the material things that give us long lasting happiness. Rather, achieving balance in the major areas of life – physical, emotional, spiritual and interpersonal. By making sure that your needs in all these aspects are met, you could live a life that is full of happiness.