Confidence can be difficult to explain because you may have plenty of it in one part of your life and very little in another.
You might feel completely comfortable with people you know, then become painfully self-conscious in a meeting or unfamiliar social situation. You may be capable of making important decisions at work, yet spend hours questioning something relatively small afterwards.
Sometimes you know exactly what you want to do. The difficult part is trusting yourself enough to do it without rehearsing every possibility first.
These are the kinds of situations people bring to me. We look at where confidence seems to disappear, what happens in those moments and what you would like to feel more comfortable doing.
What would more confidence allow you to do?
“Being more confident” can sound like a very big and rather vague goal.
I’m more interested in what confidence would look like in your life.
Perhaps you would like to:
- contribute during a meeting without talking yourself out of it
- feel more comfortable meeting new people
- prepare for an interview, presentation or performance
- make a decision without repeatedly checking it afterwards
- set a reasonable boundary and stick to it
- return to something that became difficult after an upsetting experience
- stop assuming that everyone else knows what they are doing better than you do
You don’t need to become the loudest person in the room. Confidence might simply mean saying what you wanted to say, making a choice or accepting that a small mistake doesn’t have to spoil the rest of your day.
When confidence turns into overthinking
A lack of confidence doesn’t always look like nervousness. Sometimes it appears as a great deal of thinking.
You rehearse a conversation before it happens, then replay it afterwards. You make a decision and immediately begin looking for reasons why it might have been wrong. You ask several people for their opinion but still don’t feel settled when they give it.
The mind is often trying to protect you from embarrassment, criticism or regret. Unfortunately, all that checking can leave you feeling even less certain about your own judgement.
During our sessions, we can look at the pattern without expecting you to stop caring what anybody thinks. The aim is to help you approach those situations with more perspective and trust your ability to deal with what happens.
How hypnotherapy may help
Hypnotherapy can be used to help with confidence.
We begin by talking about the situations you find difficult. I’ll ask what tends to go through your mind, what you notice physically and what you usually do in response.
We’ll also identify what you would prefer to happen. That gives us a clear and realistic direction for the work.
During hypnosis, I may use guided relaxation, imagery and mental rehearsal based on what we have discussed. You might imagine entering a meeting, answering a question, making a decision or handling a moment when something doesn’t go perfectly.
This gives you an opportunity to become familiar with a different response before putting it into practice in everyday life.
“What if I’m just not a confident person?”
Confidence isn’t a personality type that some people are born with and others have somehow missed out on.
Think about the things you already do without repeatedly questioning yourself. At some point, they may have felt unfamiliar too.
Confidence often grows through experience: trying something, discovering that you can manage it and becoming less concerned about doing it perfectly.
We can use the sessions to support that process. The steps you take outside the room matter as well, and they don’t need to be dramatic. One contribution to a conversation or one decision made with less checking can be a useful beginning.
What happens during hypnosis?
You’ll sit comfortably while I guide you through the hypnosis using my voice, imagery and suggestions connected with the goal we have agreed.
You remain aware of what is happening and stay in control. You can speak, move or stop whenever you wish.
You won’t be asked to perform, reveal something you don’t want to discuss or repeat grand positive statements that don’t feel believable.
Some people feel deeply relaxed. Others feel pleasantly absorbed while still noticing what is happening around them. There isn’t one correct way to experience it.
Confidence in particular situations
Sometimes the concern is very specific.
If speaking in front of other people is the main difficulty, you may also find my Public Speaking Anxiety page useful.
If anxiety centres on a test, driving or flying, I have separate pages covering those situations and the practical preparation that may help alongside hypnotherapy.
For a broader pattern of worry, physical tension or overthinking, you may prefer to begin with my Hypnotherapy for Anxiety page.
Keeping the goal realistic
Everyone has moments of doubt, and confidence naturally changes according to the situation.
I won’t promise that you’ll never feel nervous, question yourself or care about another person’s opinion again. We’ll focus on the difference you would like to notice in your own life and review how the work is going.
Severe or persistent difficulties with self-worth can sometimes occur alongside depression, trauma or another mental-health concern. If that may apply to you, your GP or an appropriately qualified mental-health professional can help you find suitable support.
Let’s start with the situation that matters to you
You don’t need to arrive feeling confident about hypnotherapy or knowing exactly how to explain the problem.
Tell me what you would like to feel more comfortable doing and what currently gets in the way. We can talk it through, and I’ll explain whether my approach seems suitable.
Appointments are available at my practice in Hayle, Cornwall, and online.
Contact me about confidence sessions