Blushing is a normal physical response, but knowing that does not make it any easier when you are constantly worried that it might happen.
You may be talking comfortably when you suddenly feel warmth rising into your face. As soon as you notice it, your attention turns inwards. You begin wondering how red you look, whether the other person has noticed and what they might be thinking.
That worry can make you feel hotter and even more self-conscious. Before long, it is the fear of blushing that causes the most difficulty.
People often come to see me because this has begun affecting conversations, relationships, meetings or social situations they would otherwise enjoy.
When worrying about blushing takes over
You may find yourself thinking about blushing before anything has actually happened.
Perhaps you worry when:
- Somebody asks you a question unexpectedly
- Attention turns towards you in a group
- You have to speak during a meeting
- You meet somebody new
- You receive a compliment
- You feel embarrassed or put on the spot
- You talk to somebody you find attractive
- You enter a warm or brightly lit room
- Somebody mentions that you look red
You might avoid eye contact, cover your face with your hair or choose clothes that you hope will draw attention away from it. Some people avoid photographs, social occasions or speaking in groups.
Others spend time checking their face in mirrors or phone cameras, trying to work out whether the redness is visible.
These habits can gradually make blushing feel like something that must be monitored at all times.
The blushing and anxiety cycle
Blushing happens automatically. It is not something you deliberately choose to do.
The difficulty often develops when you become highly alert to any sign that it might be starting. A little warmth in your face can quickly lead to thoughts such as:
- “Everybody can see it.”
- “They will think I am embarrassed.”
- “I need to stop this happening.”
- “I have to get out of here.”
Your body responds to those thoughts with more anxiety, which can create additional heat and self-consciousness.
Trying very hard not to blush can keep your attention fixed upon the exact response you want to avoid. It becomes difficult to follow the conversation because part of your mind is checking your face and watching the other person for a reaction.
How I may be able to help
I offer hypnotherapy for blushing anxiety at my practice in Hayle and online.
We begin by talking about the situations in which you feel most self-conscious and what goes through your mind when you notice yourself becoming warm.
Hypnotherapy can help relieve anxiety and may help you feel less preoccupied with how you appear to other people.
During hypnosis, I may use relaxation, imagery and mental rehearsal to help you imagine handling familiar situations more calmly. This might include remaining involved in a conversation, speaking at your own pace and allowing attention to stay with the person in front of you.
The aim is not to promise that you will never blush again. It is to help reduce the fear and constant monitoring that have made blushing feel so important.
Feeling less concerned about being noticed
One of the most difficult thoughts is often: “What if somebody sees me blush?”
You may feel that blushing reveals something private about you or gives other people the wrong impression. Perhaps you worry that they will think you are embarrassed, attracted to them, hiding something or lacking confidence.
In reality, we cannot know exactly what another person is thinking. They may not notice at all, or they may see a brief and ordinary human reaction before returning their attention to the conversation.
Part of our work may involve becoming more comfortable with uncertainty. When you no longer feel responsible for controlling every visible reaction, social situations can begin to feel less demanding.
Building confidence in social situations
If you have worried about blushing for a long time, your confidence may have been affected too.
You might hold back from joining conversations, expressing an opinion or making new connections. Afterwards, you may criticise yourself for staying quiet, even though anxiety made speaking feel difficult at the time.
We can work on helping you feel more secure in those situations. This may involve imagining yourself listening, responding and remaining present even if you notice some warmth in your face.
Confidence does not require you to feel completely calm at every moment. It grows as you discover that you can handle a little discomfort without it deciding what you do next.
What happens during the initial consultation?
Your first appointment gives us time to talk about:
- When you first became concerned about blushing
- The situations that affect you most
- What you imagine other people are thinking
- Anything you currently avoid
- How you respond when you notice your face becoming warm
- What you would like to feel able to do more comfortably
I will explain how I work and answer any questions you have about hypnosis. You can then decide whether you would like to continue.
When to speak to your GP
Facial redness can have a range of physical causes, including skin conditions, medication, hormonal changes and alcohol.
If the redness is new, persistent, unexplained or accompanied by other symptoms, it is sensible to speak to your GP. Hypnotherapy should not be used as a substitute for appropriate medical assessment or treatment.
If you already know that anxiety is a significant part of what happens, we can focus our work on that anxious and self-conscious response.
Blushing anxiety support in Cornwall and online
Appointments are available at my private hypnotherapy practice in Hayle, Cornwall. I also offer online sessions if you live further away or would feel more comfortable speaking from home.
If worrying about blushing is taking up too much of your attention or holding you back from situations that matter to you, you are welcome to contact me for a friendly and confidential conversation.