Read Real Reviews

The hallmark of any good therapist is the presence of real, sound testimonials & reviews from satisfied clients. Considering that my work is of a confidential nature, and unless clients want to share their experience, I don’t. But if, like some people who like to share their experiences, you are absolutely welcome to do so. In fact it helps others who are unsure of whether hypnotherapy could help them to make that decision. I thank those who do.

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But what about the very concerning issue of fake reviews? I know there are many, many ways of people obtaining reviews through paid or other methods. But how do I ensure my reviews are bona fide and can be trusted?

Well the answer is simple. Clients who leave a review are offered that opportunity from my online booking system (Fresha) after having booked and attended one of my sessions. So these are only going to be real clients, real appointments and hence real reviews.

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What my clients are saying

“Neil has helped me enormously. I would highly recommend him as both a therapist and very lovely man.”

NS

“Really great, Neil made me feel at ease and fully explained what would be happening. Very insightful first session and I am looking forward to my new journey.”

MU

“I’m a big believer in giving your mind the care and space it needs, and along with meditation and mindfulness practices, I find that hypnotherapy can make the “holy trinity” of peace, presence and mental strength. Hypnotherapy, for me at least, needs the right practitioner. Neil’s great; empathetic, dedicated, inquisitive and intuitive. He’s a kind man with a kind voice and has helped me greatly both personally and professionally. Wouldn’t hesitate to recommend him. We’ve worked on a combination of bad habits, intrinsic motivation and self care. It’s been a great journey so far.”

KB

Fundraiser overcomes obstacles

Now….every once in a while, there comes along someone who experiences significant results from making that choice. One such person gladly shared her story…

Katie Brind seizures tourettes testimonials bude cornwall fundraising

Please read her full story and donate too!

Her story began this time last year when she couldn’t walk without assistance and often could not talk. Having two long-term chronic conditions, rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia, meant she hadn’t had a pain free day for over 10 years. In the last 2 years, she suffered a haemorrhage, had a small tumour removed and then needed further surgery.

One evening, last year she suddenly felt very unwell. Unable to move or speak and having witnessed her grandma suffer two strokes, she thought maybe she was suffering the same problem.  Luckily, her mum lived nearby in another part of the house, and after an hour, she managed to drag herself to her mother, an ambulance was called and she was taken to hospital.

The morning after she returned from hospital, she again felt unwell; however, the symptoms were very different.  She started having a violent seizure, and her whole body was leaving the bed with the power of it. The first response car arrived, followed by the air ambulance. But as she was being so violent in her movements, it was considered unsafe to travel by air, so a land ambulance was called.

Pah ching, Pah chong

In A&E she was punching anything and anybody in sight. However no-one suffered  injury and a lot of apologies were offered. The seizures lasted for a few hours along with a sudden onset of what doctors likened to a strange form of Tourette’s. She was shouting out “pah ching, pah chong” and  suddenly developed some karate moves. Karate chopping through seizures like she was some sort of Ninja Warrior.

After a week of many seizures and episodes of Tourette’s she was discharged from hospital.  But the seizures continued for several months, with up to 10 episodes a day.  She was required to hand in her driving licence,  lost her independence and felt she was losing her sanity being stuck in the house. She became reliant on other people and was not able to be left alone. It was a very long time before she felt well again.

The episodes gradually became less frequent and she was starting to go out during the day. So after living like this for 10 months, although much improved, she decided to try something alternative. She made an appointment to see me.

“This is the best decision I have ever made. He made me view my life very differently, he gave me the positivity and confidence to do new things. He has helped me to control my anxiety and as I am writing this I am touching every piece of wood in sight, but I have not had any seizures since seeing Neil.”

Now, this was a significant result in anyone’s eyes. Coupled with her continued progress of coming off her pain medication she’s very pleased.

Hypnotherapy for stress

Often when we are worried, feeling confused or burdened by life our minds become carried away with stress.

Stress is a common experience in our modern-day lives and can lead to a range of physical and mental health issues. Whether it’s related to work, finances, relationships, or health, stress can be overwhelming and exhausting. When we are constantly in a state of stress, it can weaken our immune system and lead to other serious health issues. The reduction of anxiety is, therefore, essential for our overall well-being. Hypnotherapy is one approach that has been found to be effective in managing stress and anxiety.

Hypnotherapy is a complementary therapy that uses hypnosis to induce a state of deep relaxation. During this state, the hypnotherapist guides the client’s thoughts and imagination towards a positive outcome. Hypnotherapy has been found to be effective in treating a range of conditions, including anxiety, depression, phobias, and addiction.

stress fees appointments neil cox online therapy hypnotherapy cornwall st austell

Solution Focused Hypnotherapy (SFH) is a particular type of hypnotherapy that focuses on solutions rather than problems. SFH is based on the principles of positive psychology and neuroscience. It helps clients focus on their strengths and resources to overcome their problems and achieve their goals. SFH is a collaborative process that involves the therapist and client working together towards a positive outcome.

The goal of SFH is to help clients achieve a state of relaxation and calmness. During the session, the hypnotherapist will guide the client into a state of trance, which is similar to a state of deep relaxation. While in this state, the client’s conscious mind is temporarily bypassed, allowing the hypnotherapist to communicate with the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is where our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs are stored. By accessing the subconscious mind, the hypnotherapist can help clients identify and change negative thought patterns and beliefs that are contributing to their stress and anxiety.

SFH sessions are usually short-term, typically lasting between six to twelve sessions. During the initial consultation, the hypnotherapist will assess the client’s needs and goals and develop a personalized treatment plan. The client will also be taught relaxation techniques that they can practice outside of the sessions. SFH is a safe and non-invasive therapy that can be used alongside conventional medical treatments.

In conclusion, hypnotherapy is an effective approach for managing stress and anxiety. SFH, in particular, focuses on solutions rather than problems and helps clients access their inner resources to overcome their challenges. If you are experiencing stress or anxiety, it is important to seek professional help. A qualified hypnotherapist can help you manage your stress and anxiety, and improve your overall well-being.

To find out about how Solution Focused Hypnotherapy can help you, contact Neil Cox at Neil Cox Hypnotherapy.

Get in touch by calling +447900225171 and for more information please click my Contact page.

Primitive instincts can create problems

Primitive instincts and modern problems. Have we truly evolved yet to our surroundings?

If so, then why with so many comforts of modern life at our fingertips are we suffering from stress related symptoms such as anxiety disorders, OCD, IBS and depression?

We have mobile phones and the internet, we’re able to travel to far off destinations in the same day. There’s the availability of public transport and many of us owning our own cars now.

So what is happening in this rapidly changing modern life we live?

Primitive instincts.

What is happening is that many of the primitive instincts have not evolved as quickly as the imagination of humankind, that imagination having created the many benefits of modern life.

So to explain what is happening we must go back into the past and take a look at how our cave dwelling ancestors lived and survived. They survived with the basic instinctual responses they were born with. To stay and fight, or run and survive to fight another day. Our primitive instincts. It is this response to the environment through the information taken in through our senses that still reacts today. Albeit irrationally to a perceived danger or illogical fear.

So why is this happening now even though we have developed a thinking planning mind?

The same primitive part of us that reacts before we can rationalise, that special part of our brain that is lightning fast is known as the amygdala. This is our own pattern and association matching system. Despite the fact that it’s amazing, how it works to keep us safe it is not perfect. It will generally match with something similar.

Then, when it has done that, it will match with something that is similar to the situation therefore creating a generalisation.  And where do we hear the term general used these days to describe a symptom – (GAD) general anxiety disorder.

To describe how this happens in another way, let us say someone has an experience of something frightening where they felt fearful. Then they experience something that seems a little similar, now the amygdala fires off the alarm bells to run or fight.  It has matched this experience to the previous fearful one. But, if the fear is not needed, no action is required to be taken.

So the thinking rational mind goes why do I feel afraid?  This arousal of fight or flight energy has no outlet or purpose and takes time to fade. Each time this pattern is matched to the first or previous experience, creating a fear of the fear. This can also be brought on with our own imagination.

So, let’s move to the imagination and how it plays a part in our modern problems. Imagination is what helped us to evolve and where everything around us was created; everything is first created in the imagination.

So how does this wonderful imagination give us modern problems?

Everything you see with your eyes is an image reflected inside from the outside world. Just like a camera that takes a picture and reflects the exposure of the outside onto the film. So anything perceived in the imagination is just as real, as we are projecting this image on the same movie screen of our mind. By imagining something may happen we are creating images that the amygdala believes to be a real danger. This sets off the natural survival warning system. The fight or flight response of a raised heart beat, sweating, not being able to think straight as more blood rushes to muscles to prepare us to move quickly.

However no real danger is there for us to respond to, and we are left with this arousal state. As I said before, that takes time to fade leaving us afraid or anxious, because we don’t know why we feel this way.

So now we understand that anxiety is caused by primitive instinctual responses we are born with. They are also used for us to learn everything we know. All information is stored in the unconscious mind to create patterns and associations for understanding our world. That’s why our lives and behaviours become a reflection of our experiences both good and bad.

All information is taken in from the world around us and then sent into the unconscious resources of experience to search for meaning and that meaning is only our perception as all understanding is only from our learned experience.

So what can we do with this knowledge to rid ourselves of our primitive ancestors reactions that are causing us such difficulty?

What we do is we seek out a therapist that we feel comfortable with who is capable to work quickly on the cause and reactions we are having, I say quickly because depending obviously on the complexity of the initial sensitising event and how subsequent similar events that may be generalised it should be quick, that part of your brain learned how to make you feel this way quickly so it has the ability to unlearn it just as quickly!

After all it is only interested in your protection and survival.

Options.

Your brain never came with instructions only a basic programme to meet your needs for survival. So a therapist who is flexible enough to work in many ways will give you the quickest results. If the therapist has only one way of working you will have to fit the therapy they offer and they may get stuck trying to prove their therapy works at your expense. That is not to say that one therapy is not the solution and will not give equally good results, but having more options can often mean success.

www.hypnotherapists.org

People who need help to overcome these modern problems are not broken. They never were, and as you can see here it’s our primitive instincts of our primitive mind that we are born with. It works so perfectly well in your best survival interest and only responding to generalised patterns being matched outside your awareness at an unconscious level.

So I hope I have pointed out here, that it may be time to seek out the help or guidance you need. You can then rid yourself of this limiting response you have been having that is holding you back from the life you deserve.

Blushing

Learn 5 psychological tricks to stop blushing in its tracks

I could feel it happening. Suddenly all the attention was on me! That horrible burning feeling in my face, can they tell? Some of us end up blushing all through life. Some seek help but find they’re just told why they start. But all they want is to actually stop. We blush when embarrassed, then become embarrassed because we’re blushing! So hey lets blush some more. The more we think we’re blushing, the more we blush.

So, here are five effective tips or rather strategies that help reduce, then eventually stop, the blushing that plagues so many people through their lives.

1 – Stop the blushing cycle by ‘unmasking’.

One way to short-circuit blushing is to draw attention to it yourself. Yes, really. When you do this, the results can be amazing.

Blushing seems to be nature’s way of disclosing our true feelings. If, for example, I say I am not attracted to someone when in fact I am, I may blush. If we were totally shameless, we wouldn’t blush; but blushers tend to feel ashamed or embarrassed where others don’t. Feelings of being ‘on display’ also cause blushing.

I very rarely blush nowadays; however, for some reason I did blush once when speaking to around thirty people. But I was, excuse the pun, cool about the blushing. I said: “Oh, I don’t believe it! Look, I’m blushing!”

Actually, no one was very interested but I noticed that now I had ‘unmasked’ the blushing myself, it had nowhere to run and stopped immediately. Blushers blush because of the fear of being seen differently from how they want to be perceived.

I realise this might not be acceptable in an important business meeting, but give this strategy serious consideration because it does short-circuit the whole thing.  And it fits in nicely with the next tip.

2 – Stop feeling so responsible for blushing

In the example I gave in Tip 1, I said that I was ‘cool about blushing’. Why did I not feel embarrassed about changing from my usual pallid complexion to someone resembling a bright red neon light?

It’s amazing how people feel consciously responsible for stuff that is actually generated by their unconscious mind. For example, I have much more conscious control over whether I speak rudely to someone than whether I blush or hiccup or blink.

Separate your conscious and unconscious processes. For conscious stuff, I (at least try to) take responsibility, but unconscious stuff has nothing to do with me, mate! So I felt ok about the fact I was blushing.

It’s your unconscious mind that has been producing the blood changes that lead to blushing, not your conscious mind. So really think about how much responsibility you need to feel for it. If your dog barks at a kindly stranger, you may feel responsible, but it’s your dog, not you, that barked. Really thinking about this will make Tip 1 much easier to enact.

3 – Stop blushing by learning to direct your blood flow

What?  Am I crazy? Well, perhaps a little, but blood flow can be controlled through the use of the imagination.  By spending five minutes daily imagining your hands heating up around an open fire, you’ll find you can easily direct more blood into your hands. By focusing on your hands heating up during times when you might typically blush, you can actually stop yourself blushing.  It’s as if the blushing was still there, but only in the hands. And pretty soon, you won’t even have to do this. But there’s something else you can do too…

4 – Stop blushing by mentally rehearsing staying cool

Your body responds to preparation. What do I mean? Well, if you prepare for an event by feeling nervous when you imagine it, then this will prime your mind and body to actually feel nervous when the situation occurs.

If, on the other hand, you imagine upcoming events while feeling very relaxed, and imagine seeing yourself (from the outside) looking calm and cool, you are sending your unconscious mind and your body a powerful signal to actually be calm and cool in these situations.

This is a form of self-hypnosis and you can become very good at this. Think about typical times you might blush. When you are very relaxed, breathing deeply, imagine watching yourself in those situations looking calm and cool. The more often and powerfully you do this, the more automatic keeping cool will become.

You can even imagine a beautiful cool breeze sweeping across you in these times.

And lastly…

5 – How to stop blushing by rewriting history

Spend time thinking about times you blushed in the past that are really memorable (because their unpleasantness stands out). Now revisit some of these times in your mind, with eyes closed, from a detached perspective, just watching yourself in those times. Now realise that you can change those memories. Watch those past situations in your mind as if they had been fine and you had either relaxed totally about the fact you blushed or you didn’t blush at all and remained cool and relaxed.

This ‘rewriting history’ exercise sends the message to your unconscious mind that, actually, there is no real history of blushing. Your conscious mind will still know you blushed in these times, but your unconscious mind will start to feel as if the pattern had never become established.

How to boost your self esteem today

What is low self esteem, really?

Low self esteem is a false perception of oneself. If you have low self esteem then you are better than you think you are. This is the definition of low self esteem.  When your self-esteem improves, it’s because your self-knowledge has improved; just as the ugly duckling in Hans Christian Anderson’s famous tale had to learn its true nature before it could become fulfilled.

But how do you tell if your self esteem is too low?

Signs and symptoms of low self esteem

mug of tea considering hypnotherapy anxiety depression stress mistakes mental health awareness

Healthy self esteem doesn’t mean loving yourself no matter what you do. Shame, guilt, and self-reproach do have a place if we behave badly. It’s just that those with true low self esteem tend to feel these things even when they don’t behave badly. They also tend to treat themselves badly, rather than other people.

So ask yourself, do you feel:

  • You are morally worse than most other people?
  • That you have less appeal than most other people; that you are uglier?
  • You are more stupid than most other people?
  • You’re unlovable?

You might also feel:

  • Like never spending money on yourself or your looks because you feel you ‘don’t deserve it’.
  • Your opinions aren’t as valid as other people’s opinions.
  • Your low self-esteem is holding you back from really doing what you want to in life.

So, if you feel you have low self esteem, here are five things you can do in order to start building self esteem today. First off…

Self Esteem Booster 1:   Don’t spread bad stuff about yourself

Low self-esteem makes you generalise a specific incident, situation, or trait and spread it to everything.

So Suzy burns a meal she’s prepared for her kids and from this generalises to: “I’m such a useless mum, I can’t even cook a meal!”

Jake fails a math’s test and from this he negatively generalises to: “I’m so stupid!” – (then, even worse) – “I can’t do anything right!”  We’ve magically gone from failing a math’s test (specific) to being a failure at everything (pretty general!).

And more: Samantha really likes a boy in her class but is too shy to speak to him. She is mortified when he asks her best friend out. She generalises this specific incident to: “I’ll never get a date; no one will ever like me!”

This is known as ‘globalising’ and if you do this for negative things, you’ll feel bad about yourself. Knowing you are doing it is the first step to challenging it. If you catch yourself doing this – for example, telling yourself you’re stupid because you made a mistake – then force yourself to find examples that contradict your own negative blanket statement.

Next: What do you really think?

Self Esteem Booster 2:    Look to the origins – briefly

Low self esteem usually results from how we are conditioned by other people. If you were systematically insulted, criticised, or bullied, then you are more likely to have absorbed the negative messages about yourself instigated by other people.

Think about who these other people were and when you feel bad about yourself, take a moment to ask yourself: “Hold on. Whose voice is that speaking?”

I bet it really belongs to someone else originally. Starting to override other people’s conditioning of us is the first step to psychological independence; the real ‘you’ (that you should be listening to) can be much kinder and more reasonable about yourself.

Self Esteem Booster 3:    Be fair to yourself and others

Low self esteem makes us magnify failures and personal faults and minimise or completely discount successes and personal strengths. Don’t do this. Be fair. If other people say you are attractive, clever, kind, fun, or whatever, respect them enough to at least consider that what they say is a probability.

Remembering and dwelling on criticisms while discounting and forgetting compliments (or any positive feedback) is a very biased, off-balance way of travelling through life.

Self Esteem Booster 4:    Ditch the imperfect perfectionism

“If it’s not perfect then it’s a total failure!” The idea that something is 100% useless unless it is 100% perfect is a trap.

Low “self esteemers” often see things in very all-or-nothing terms. “That family is just perfect! /I’m just useless!”

Of course nothing in this world is perfect and no one is entirely useless. To stop this destructive black-or-white thinking, do this: Think, “If 100% is perfect and 0% is ‘total failure’ or ‘totally useless!’, how do I rate the meal I cooked?” This forces realism.

You might only give yourself 20% for the meal or your speech or whatever, but then look at that 20%  and ask yourself: “What enabled that 20%? And how can I build on that to get to maybe 25%?” This breaks down the perfect/disaster thinking which drives and maintains low self esteem.

Self Esteem Booster 5:   Take care of your appearance

Low self esteem leads to a vicious cycle. We feel bad about ourselves, so we don’t dress well, keep fit,  or get decent haircuts; but neglecting our appearance in turn causes more low self-esteem. Take time out to look after your body. Get a massage or manicure (unless you’re a macho guy, of course 🙂 Buy clothes that look good on you.  Don’t see this as superficial or irrelevant, because the ripple effect of changing outward aspects of yourself can lead to changes on the inside.

And you can take time to close your eyes and start to visualise yourself looking fit, healthy, and nicely dressed whilst doing something you can be proud of – whether that’s talking confidently to others or just looking so calm and relaxed.

Higher self esteem consists of:

  • Honest respect for your own abilities, potentials, and value.
  • Knowing your strengths and trusting in them.
  • Appreciation and open acceptance of your limitations.
  • Acceptance of these limitations whilst understanding that some limitations can be overcome.
  • Freedom from being overly concerned with what we imagine others think of us. Whilst accepting these perceptions do play a part in everyday life, remember they do not determine who we are.

Remember: a diamond doesn’t know its own value, but it is still a diamond nonetheless.

Conduct a Life Audit

Conduct an 80/20 Life Audit to Evaluate and Improve Your Life

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the demands and responsibilities in your life? Do you feel like you’re constantly running on a hamster wheel, unable to catch a break? It might be time to conduct an 80/20 life audit to evaluate and improve your life.

The 80/20 principle, also known as the Pareto Principle, states that roughly 80% of effects come from 20% of causes. This principle can be applied to all areas of life, including the people, activities, and situations that take up your time and energy.

To conduct an 80/20 life audit, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What are the 20% of your activities that bring you 80% of your stress? Identify the activities that drain your energy and cause you the most stress. Is it your job? Your daily commute? A particular household chore? Once you’ve identified these activities, consider how you can minimise or eliminate them from your life.
  2. What are the 20% of your activities and areas of your life in which you experience 80% of your stress? Think about the areas of your life that are causing you the most stress. Is it your finances? Your relationships? Your health? Once you’ve identified these areas, consider how you can improve them.
  3. What are the 20% of your activities and areas of your life in which you experience 80% of your happiness? Identify the activities and areas of your life that bring you the most joy and fulfillment. Is it spending time with loved ones? Pursuing a hobby or passion? Travelling? Once you’ve identified these areas, consider how you can incorporate more of them into your life.
  4. Who are the 20% of the people in your life with whom you have 80% of your best experiences? Think about the people in your life who bring you the most joy and support. Is it your partner? Your family? Your closest friends? Once you’ve identified these people, consider how you can spend more quality time with them.
  5. Who or what brings your energy up when you think about them? Think about the people, activities, and situations that bring you energy and inspiration. Is it listening to music? Spending time in nature? Talking to a particular friend? Once you’ve identified these things, consider how you can incorporate more of them into your daily life.
  6. Who or what brings your energy down when you think about them? Think about the people, activities, and situations that drain your energy and bring you down. Is it a toxic relationship? A stressful job? Negative self-talk? Once you’ve identified these things, consider how you can minimise or eliminate them from your life.

Based on what you have learned from your 80/20 life audit, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What should you be doing less of? Identify the activities, areas, and people in your life that are causing you the most stress and unhappiness. Consider how you can reduce or eliminate them from your life.
  2. What would be worth doing more of? Identify the activities, areas, and people in your life that bring you the most joy and fulfillment. Consider how you can incorporate more of them into your life.
  3. Who would it be worth spending more time with? Think about the people in your life who bring you the most joy and support. Consider how you can spend more quality time with them.
  4. Who would it be worth spending less time with? Think about the people in your life who drain your energy and bring you down. Consider how you can minimise or eliminate your time with them.
  5. If you had only one month to live, what would you let go of from your life? Think about the things in your life that you wouldn’t want to spend your precious time on if you only had one month left. Is it work-related stress? A toxic relationship? Once you’ve identified these things, consider how you can let them go from your life.
  6. Which of those things can you let go of anyway? Identify the things in your life that are causing you the most stress and unhappiness that you can let go of. This may be easier said than done, but it’s important to consider how you can create boundaries and take action to prioritize your own well-being.

By conducting an 80/20 life audit, you’ll gain clarity on the areas of your life that are causing you the most stress and unhappiness, as well as those that bring you the most joy and fulfillment. From there, you can take action to make positive changes and improve your overall well-being.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, consider reaching out to a therapist or coach for guidance. They can help you navigate your emotions and create an action plan for making positive changes in your life.

In summary, an 80/20 life audit can be a powerful tool for evaluating and improving your life. By identifying the 20% of people, activities, and situations that bring you the most stress and joy, you can create a plan to minimise or eliminate the negative and focus on the positive. Remember, taking care of yourself should always be a priority.