How do you compare?

People feel that others are ‘better’ than them.

Within my work I find that many people feel that others are just simply ‘better’ than them, that they are more successful and have more money. It’s a destructive habit where they compare themselves to people who have nicer cars, bigger houses and more friends (on Facebook). They never get anxious, great at public speaking and far more attractive in every way. I promise, you will find them within the walls of social media.

That scenario when you struggle to manage your weight whilst others simply eat whatever they like and stay slim. For you, the mere thought of eating a slice of cake puts three pounds on!

The parent who struggles to control their child’s tantrums when all around are mums who cope with grace and elegance. Then there are the ones who are desperate to get on with their career but get overlooked. Watching their co-workers push themselves into the spotlight and getting the promotion they want. How do they find it so easy whilst you get left behind, feeling as if you have a total lack of confidence?

A distorted image.

People say to me that others are just simply better than them. So how do these people find it easier than the rest of us? Are we just viewing or comparing our lives with a distorted image?

An overweight person may well envy a slim person and assume they eat sensibly. They despise the fact that they stay slim and appear to eat without resorting to diets. However the next day that same slim person starves themselves due to an eating disorder.

That parent who was struggling to cope with her child’s tantrums may well never see the other parents at their wits end because their own child has been running rampant at the local supermarket.

The person with make-up on and the latest hairstyle looking good, so they portray an image of perfection. But then they go home to crawl into bed, crying the day away. The employee whose been so desperate for promotion doesn’t know that their colleague suffered with depression which caused them to lose their last job. They’re only here because they found the strength to face up to it with therapy and voluntary work.

How do we really see each other?

This cycle continues if we continue to look at each other with somewhat unrealistic viewpoints. We end up looking at the next person with the same idealistic perspective as they do to us. Do you realise there’s probably someone out there who’s thinking of you? Thinking of you in the same way that you are envying an aspect of them too?

And the solution is…

For once, try and focus on the good things in your own lives. Stop comparing what others have or do and keep the positive aspects at the forefront of everything you do. It’s wasted energy concentrating on what others are doing with their perfect lives – is that time spent on social media really doing you any good? Really?

If you resent your friend earning more than you, feeling the jealousy take over – how does that change anything? Does your wage increase, does their wage decrease? No. It changes nothing, your friend continues to receive their wage, and you continue to receive your less desirable income.

Unless you decide to do something about it!

So to summarise, stop comparing yourself to others and concentrate on the good things in life. Naturally you would expect me to suggest hypnotherapy, and yes you won’t be wrong there. Hypnotherapy and specifically solution focused hypnotherapy can help you to make those changes, with a calm and confident approach. It helps build self esteem and self confidence in ways you never thought possible. Looking for a alternative that’s simple and convenient try my MP3 downloads

And if I needed an affirmation that what Im writing about is correct I had a lovely quote from a colleague of mine just today “Don’t compare yourself to others as we all have a different journey depending on our mindset, circumstance & how hard we are prepared to work”  Thank you Sarah, a great way to end my blog today.

 

 

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